


Couples Camp

by WeirdDaydreamingFangirl



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Fluff, Modern AU, Satire, couples therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-31
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-12 02:58:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7917814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeirdDaydreamingFangirl/pseuds/WeirdDaydreamingFangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was a mistake. Jaime and Brienne weren’t supposed to be in Couples Camp. They were just friends, and that’s on the best days. But with no access to the outside for three days, Jaime and Brienne have no choice but to play along.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WackyGoofball](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WackyGoofball/gifts).



> Queen of Crack and Modern AU is back with a longer fic this time XD
> 
> Shoutout to Wacky who I’m gifting this to because it was her video that inspired me to do this fic. Video Here: [ http://wackygoofball.tumblr.com/post/149334913978/the-jb-roadtrip-video-raised-from-shipper-hell-i ] I hope the writing meets your standards, senpai hahahhahaha.
> 
> I’m dividing this to three parts because I’m trash. XD Updates will also irregular because I’m really just winging this and I have projects to pass this week and a major exam to take. XD
> 
> I know nothing about couples therapy. This is just for shits and giggles.

“What do you mean we are cut off from the outside world for three days?!” Brienne almost yelled.

“That’s what the counselor said.” Jaime shrugged. Brienne groaned and stomped her way to the auburn haired counselor who was busy reading her clipboard.

“Yeah, uhm, hello,” Brienne greeted awkwardly, looking at the lady’s nametag. “Ehhh... Catelyn. Look, there has been a terrible mistake and I… we are not supposed to be here.”

“I apologize, my dear,” Catelyn said sympathetically “But as I told your husband…”

“We’re not married,” Brienne said through gritted teeth.

“Boyfriend, then,” Brienne was too tired to even correct her at this point. “…that the only access we have outside are the ambulances and rescue and we really cannot risk calling them unless there is a real emergency. So perhaps you and your gentleman would just enjoy the program, okay?”

Brienne nodded and slumped her way towards her companion.

“Well, we might as well enjoy this, hm?” Jaime said brightly as he clapped her shoulder. Brienne jerked her whole body away and glared daggers at him.

“Don’t touch me, Lannister,” she hissed. “I swear, if you touch me, I will cut off your hand.”

Jaime raised his hands in surrender.

*******

“I’m not sharing a bed with you,” Brienne tells him bluntly.

“Fine by me,” Jaime said as he crashes onto the mattress face first. He could hear Brienne going through her stuff and he propped himself up by his elbows. “I’m kidding, Tarth. You can’t sleep on the cold hard floor.” Then, the teasing began to creep up in his voice. “What kind of a husband would I be if I let you do that?”

Brienne froze up and her face flooded with a red blush.

“Shut up, Lannister,” she snapped when she pulled out a blanket from her bag.

“You’re a Lannister, too, wife,” he retorted.

“I’m only doing this because I can’t stay idle for three days,” Brienne told him. “Don’t push it.”

“Gods, wench,” Jaime said, rolling his eyes. “I’m not going to do anything. I’m not _that_ kind of asshole. Let’s just share the bed. If it makes you feel any better, we can have a pillow between us and you can have a knife beside you or something.”

“No,” she insisted. “Besides, I don’t think we can even fit. We’re both big. I’m going to take the sleeping bag. Thank you.”

“Fine,” he spat, falling flat on the bed once more.

*******

“Alright, couples,” Catelyn’s voice boomed over the microphone. “Now that you’re settled in, we shall get you to your first task: Getting to know one another.”

Their counselor droned on and on and Jaime rolled his eyes.

“This is stupid. Don’t these people know their partner already?” Jaime whispered to Brienne.

“The counselor said to have each other share new things that their partner doesn’t know,” Brienne hissed in turn. “Now, shut up, I’m trying to listen.”

“Are you taking this seriously?” Jaime snorted.

“Do you have anything better to do?” Brienne replied.

Jaime groaned and shut his mouth for once.

*******

“I’m actually into blondes,” Jaime said.

“What a surprise,” Brienne retorted flatly. “You’re a narcissist.”

“I also like blue eyes,” Jaime added, and a smile crept up his face just as a blush crept up Brienne’s.

“Don’t mock me, Lannister,” she warned.

Jaime shrugged-his expression turning oddly neutral. “Well that was two. I need two from you as well.”

“That’s not how it works,” Brienne said. “And the second bit is probably a joke.”

“Well I think you have astonishing eyes, wench,” Jaime said without humor. “And that’s three.”

Brienne cursed the gods that off all people she had to be stuck with in Couples Camp, it had to be Jaime Lannister.

*******

“Should we cuddle, wench?” Jaime said.

Around them, couples were huddled together after a filling dinner. Jaime and Brienne were the only participants who weren’t cozy with each other. They weren’t even touching.

“My threat of cutting of your hand still stands,” Brienne replied.

After she said it though, a chilly breeze swept by and goose bumps broke out of her skin. Suddenly, she felt a blanket wrapped around her shoulders.

“Stubborn, wench,” Jaime muttered beside her. His hands had immediately left her shoulders “That did not count as touching you, by the way. I was clearly touching the blanket.”

Brienne had a thousand angry retorts in her head but she surprised herself with what came out of her mouth.

“Thank you.”

There was a flash of surprise in Jaime’s eyes before he averted his gaze.

“Ah, well, I can’t have Lannister Corporation’s best employee dying on me, ey?”

“Of course not,” she played along. “Who else is going to keep you in line?”

For a moment, they stared at one another with small smiles, before realizing how sappy they both probably looked. They quickly turned away.

*******

“Brienne,” Sansa, Catelyn’s daughter and assistant, called out. “Why don’t you sing us a song?”

“Oh no. I don’t-”

“Sure, we’d love to sing,” Jaime piped up from beside her.

“A duet?” Sansa gasped. “Great! Come on up, Mr. and Mrs. Lannister.”

Brienne’s protests fell into deaf ears as Jaime dragged Brienne out front.

“So, what will you be singing for us?” Sansa asked.

Jaime only answered her with a smile. Brienne couldn’t even pick the song. He was so going to embarrass her. He, then, cleared his throat and sucked his breath.

“ _I really wanna stop but I just got the taste for it.”_

Simultaneously, the whole campfire had scrunched faces- halfway looking like they’re going to rip their ears out and halfway going to burst into laughter. The only good thing about this is Brienne knows this song.

_“I feel like I could fly with the thought of the moon.”_

Only, this wasn’t meant for a duet. How was she going to know where to come in?

_“So, honey, hold my hand, you like making me wait for it.”_

At that, Jaime took her hand and Brienne was too stunned to even do something. In fact, she found comfort in it.

_“I feel like I could die walking up to the room. Oh yeah!”_

There was a pause that went on for too long. She could feel Jaime tugging at her hand. Brienne looked to him and she saw Jaime reaching the microphone out to her. She took it when she realized it was her turn.

“L- _Late night watching television,_ ” she began singing with her eyes closed, not wanting to see how everyone’s faces looked like.

“ _But how did we get in this position?_

_It’s way too soon I know this isn’t looooooove._

_But I need to tell you something._ ”

Suddenly, she realized everyone had turned quiet. Against every fiber of her being, she opened her eyes.

Everyone looked stunned.

She turned to Jaime and he wore the same expression as well. Brienne wanted to run.

“Why did you stop, Brienne?” he asked with genuine astonishment. “You’re amazing!”

Then, the crowd cheered, but it wasn’t what made Brienne’s heart swell.

Still, she ignored his use of her name and the resurfacing feelings-that she had tried so hard to bury-that came with it.

“ _I really, really, really, really, really, really like you_.”

Jaime began to sing with her during the next line.

_“And I want you. Do you want me? Do you want me, too?”_

Then, Jaime coughed horribly and just stuck to lip syncing.

“ _I really, really, really, really, really, really like you_.”

Jaime was still lip syncing but his physical interpretation of the song was hilarious to watch.

_“And I want you. Do you want me? Do you want me, too?”_

Then, Jaime grabbed the microphone and gave out an unstable note.

“ _Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, did I say too much?_ ” Jaime made an overdramatically shocked face. His hand had left hers to cover his mouth.

“ _I’m so in my head._ ” At that, Jaime still pulls the same face but his free hand is now clutching his hair.

“ _When we’re out of touch. Out of touch!_ ” Then, he reached for her hand again. She let him do it, too amused to care.

“ _I really, really, really, really, really, really like you_.

_And I want you. Do you want me? Do you want me, too?”_

Brienne gave a loud laugh before she yanked the microphone away to continue the next verse so Jaime wouldn’t break their eardrums.

It definitely was _not_ because Jaime paid her a compliment that seemed genuine.

*******

“Come to bed, wench,” Jaime said. Brienne was already zipped up in her sleeping bag so she couldn’t see him from the floor.

“Just because you were able to convince me to humiliate myself in front of a crowd, it doesn’t mean that I’m going to sleep with you.”

Jaime’s head suddenly popped out from the side of the bed.

“Pfft. You were the one who embarrassed me in front of everyone,” Jaime stated. “Who knew you had an amazing voice?”

“And you sound like you swallowed sandpaper,” she retorted.

“Harsh, wench. I’m being nice here.”

“I’m going to sleep,” she groaned, closing her eyes to make a point.

“Take the bed, then,” he offered.

“I’m fine here, really,” she told him honestly. Brienne really was. She knew Jaime was used to comfort, and she wasn’t exactly offended by men not opening doors for her or not offering their seats. Perhaps it was because she didn’t look like a girl so she was used to such treatment, but it never really bothered her. She believed in equality and everyone should offer help to those who are in need of it, regardless of gender.

“Well, _Brienne_ , seeing as you are being mulish.”

Brienne heard the bed creak and her eyes shot open. Jaime was no longer on the bed but he was standing at the foot of her sleeping bag. His feet were planted on either side of her.

“What are you doing?” Brienne squeaked.

Suddenly, his arms were wrapped around her and Brienne was about to unzip her bag but Jaime already lifted her off the ground. He was clearly straining under her weight but she was surprised at how gently he lowered her on the bed. He shifted her to a better position before lying down on the wood.

“Aren’t you going to get your sleeping bag?” Brienne asked.

“I’m too tired,” Jaime replied, his eyelids getting heavy and his brain about to shut down.

Then, something heavy landed on his face. Jaime was about to give the wench a piece of his mind when he saw that it was her sleeping bag. He looked up to the bed and saw only half of Brienne’s face. His breath hitched at how emphasized her amazing eyes were like that.

“Don’t pee on it,” she said.

“I can’t mark this territory as mine then?” _I wanna mark you as my territory._ Jaime shoved the thought away just as he did with his feet inside the bag. A pillow flew to his face as a response.

When he finally wriggled himself in a comfortable position, Jaime breathed out in relief. He didn’t hear a sound from the bed. Brienne must have been asleep already.

“Good night, Brienne,” he muttered.

To his surprise, she responded.

“Good night, Jaime.”

Without Brienne looking, Jaime allowed himself to smile at her use of his name.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And when I said, I’m winging this, I really am. On the spot, I had to look for a song on my laptop because I didn’t have internet to look for actual Game of Thrones songs.  “I Really Like You” by Carly Rae Jepsen actually worked better than any GoT song because it made me write into a fun mood. Also, it’s a high and fast song and it would really take a nice voice to sing it properly because it is exhausting to sing. And I got to put my headcanon of Jaime having a terrible singing voice but he doesn’t give a shit while shy Brienne is actually a very good singer.
> 
> I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY LIKE YOU. AND I LIKE YOU. DO YOU LIKE ME? PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW XD


	2. Day Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve honestly been giggling while writing, editing and revising this. Gah! Excuse me while I die from all the diabetes this literary chef baked.

It’s been an hour already and Jaime still hasn’t come out of the bathroom yet.

“Lannister!” Brienne yelled while knocking on the door for the nth time. “You better not be dead. I do not want to have to answer to you accidentally slitting your throat while shaving.”

“Perfection takes time, wench,” came his muffled reply. “I’m almost done though.”

Brienne resisted the urge to roll her eyes. They were going to be late for the morning calisthenics. She was going to give him five minutes and if he didn’t come out of that room by then, she was going to kick it down and have Jaime pay for the damage. She sat herself on the bed, now cold that she hasn’t occupied it in a while. Brienne tried hard not to think about how Jaime had carried her to bed last night.

Five minutes passed and Jaime still hadn’t come out. She stood up again and strode toward the bathroom when the door swung open and almost hit her face. She was about to yell at him to be careful when the sight before her took her breath away.

Jaime was only clad in a towel around his waist. Brienne knew he worked out but she was so used to seeing him in suits that she was not prepared - _at all_ \- for a shirtless Jaime Lannister. Her thoughts were muddled and all she could think of was how his torso looked as if the gods took the time to carefully sculpt him.

When Jaime came out of the bathroom, he was drying his hair with another towel while his eyes were closed. He hadn’t sleep well on the floor last night despite the sleeping bag having a soft bottom. He opened his eyes- about to tell Brienne about how grateful she should be that he was a gentleman- but then he saw something that he hadn’t expected from her. She was openly gawking at him. Jaime could feel something stirring at his stomach that’s quickly shooting downward.

“See something you like, wench?”

Immediately, Brienne turned a delicious shade of crimson. Her brilliant blue eyes widened in embarrassment. She was actually rendered speechless.

“Oh,” he continued to tease. “Have I turned my lady, mute? Or did you find this…”

As soon as Jaime touched the knot of the towel around his waist, Brienne knew what was coming and swiftly shielded her eyes. She could hear the soft whip of the towel.

“…distracting.”

Brienne wanted to strangle Jaime with that towel but she could hear footsteps coming toward her direction. Shielding her peripheral vision and only focusing on the floor, Brienne ran into the bathroom. She locked the door right away and she could hear Jaime’s laughter from the other side.

“I’m wearing underwear, wench.”

“Shut up!”

Outside the bathroom though, Jaime was actually sighing in relief. He truly was wearing underwear but it clung to his shape all too well. As soon as he had ripped his towel off, his cock chose that very moment to stir. Realizing his predicament, he quickly made his way past Brienne so she wouldn’t have to see it in case she would look.

He cursed that inner voice of his that was begging her to look.

It was not helping the matters down below.

*******

“I’m tired,” Jaime whined.

Brienne would’ve called him a diva but her legs were sore as well.

“I see the river ahead,” Brienne replied with seriousness. “We can rest there.”

After Brienne had come out of the bathroom, Jaime had been oddly quiet. She always thought that the day Jaime Lannister shut up would be the best day of her life but it was strangely uncomfortable. He didn’t seem mad at her though. They had missed calisthenics but were able to catch up to breakfast instead. Then, Sansa had announced that they will leave for the real camp in twenty minutes, which was supposedly in the program that they didn’t receive since they were in the wrong camp in the first place. The two had to carry their breakfast back in their cabin so they could munch on it while packing. They began passing around their things almost wordlessly. Too often though, their hands would brush or they’d make eye contact. They’d flinch at every touch and turn away from every stare. When they had finished packing, Sansa handed each of them their own basic navigation gear, some survival necessities and a flare with three shots. Apparently, each couple had their own path to take toward the campsite so as to test their teamwork and have them spend quality time together. Somehow, Jaime was alive again at the sound of this and became talkative once more. Sansa gushed about how lucky they were that they got to take the route that would eventually go by the river.

When they began their hike, Jaime was a happy chatterbox, but after about an hour, he started to complain. Brienne would shoot him a glare but she quickly looked away because his shirt was soaking and it clung at his toned body well. Then, Brienne’s thoughts would drift away to the morning at the bathroom again.

“I wanna swim,” Jaime said as they put down their things on a rock.

“We are going to be late… again,” Brienne pointedly told him but he merely beamed at her.

“Oh come on, wench. According to the map, the camp shouldn’t be far. I think we can spare a quick swim. It’s not like we need this camp anyway.”

Suddenly, Jaime took his shirt off, and Brienne turned away immediately.

“Relax,” she heard Jaime say. “I’m wearing my swimming trunks.”

Carefully, Brienne turned around and her throat felt dry at his well-exposed form. Jaime was wearing swimming trunks but it was riding way too low for Brienne’s liking.

And by that, her raging female hormones liked it indeed.

“Don’t be such a killjoy,” he said, his hand outstretched like a gentleman about to lead a lady to a dance. “Live a little, Brienne.”

For some reason, Brienne gave herself in to Jaime’s request. She took off her shirt- half expecting for Jaime to make a jape about a strip tease, but he was strangely silent. When she finally got rid of her top and exposed the blue one-piece swimsuit she had been wearing underneath, she looked at Jaime and she didn’t understand what expression he was making.

More like why he was making that expression.

He was ogling at her.

“I didn’t want to wait in line for the bathroom in case we might have a swimming activity,” she said defensively.

Jaime opened his mouth then closed it again, making weird stuttering noises. “I- I didn’t say anything.” He raised his hands in the air.

“If you do, I’m going to throw your bag into the river,” she warned.

“Noted.”

Then, Brienne unbuttoned her pants and pulled them down. She carefully folded her sweaty clothes and laid them out to dry on the rock next to their stuff. Jaime did the same. Then, he climbed on the rock and stretched his hand out to her like he did a while ago. She took it and hauled herself up on the rock.

The view was amazing.

“Ladies first,” Jaime told her.

Brienne gave him a smile. For a moment, Jaime looked touched, but then he felt a hand at his back.

The next thing he knew, he was plummeting into the water. When his head was above the surface, he saw Brienne hysterical laughing over him. Jaime realized that he had never seen her laugh. In fact, she rarely even smiled. He was determined to burn this memory in his mind. When she finally looked at him, he saw her blue eyes glint in mischief.

“That’s not even half of what you deserve!” she yelled.

“I’m going to get you for that!” he yelled back, about to swim back to shore when Brienne dove in the river. Jaime thought she looked graceful.

As soon as she bobbed her straw blonde hair on the surface, he immediately tackled her by the waist, but she was stronger. She wrenched his arms from her and pushed his body with hers closer to the shore where the water is shallower. Brienne straddled Jaime while his wrists were pinned down by her hands. The murky depth his back was resting on was itchy but he was enjoying the sight of Brienne looming over him with mock anger.

“You’re not drowning me, are you, wench?” Jaime teased her.

“Yield.”

“Nope.”

“Lannister, I said yield.”

“Don’t feel like it.”

“I _will_ drown you.”

Brienne meant to move her face closer to intimidate him but her knees slipped in the mud and she fell.

More specifically, Brienne’s face fell on Jaime’s face.

Their lips met.

Neither had expected that the other’s lips felt so soft.

In a bat of an eye, they sprung apart. Just in time for Jaime, too, because his _south_ was doing it again. He waded into deeper waters once more to hide it.

“W-we should r-really go,” Brienne said without looking at him.

“Let’s just swim a little while longer,” Jaime replied trying his best not to sound mocking. “We’re both kinda muddy.”

“Fine, but no more funny business,” Brienne warned.

Jaime snorted about to tell her that she began the foul play but the triumph in her eyes was so endearing he let her indulge her victory in taking him unaware. “It’s a truce then.”

“Truce.”

*******

Jaime and Brienne were sitting on the rock. They had been swimming for about twenty minutes before deciding that they’ll climb up on the rock for a good stretch. It had a nice panoramic view of the river. It glinted a very nice blue. It reminded Jaime of the beautiful eyes of the person seated next to him.

“You think your girlfriend would like this place?” Brienne asked out of nowhere. Jaime was suddenly tense and Brienne wanted to slap herself. She had heard things about Jaime’s ex-girlfriend, and so far, she hadn’t heard him date since. After a suffering silence, Brienne was not expecting a reply.

“My ex-girlfriend probably won’t,” he replied as if stating fact. “Cersei loved luxury and all that shit. Nature is pretty enough for her but being part of it. Nah.”

“Well, she’s missing out on a great deal,” she said awkwardly.

“Yeah, too bad for her,” he responded just as awkwardly. “But she was a bitch anyway.”

“What happened?” Brienne asked then quickly added, “If you don’t mind me asking.”

She didn’t even know why she kept probing him about his love life. Brienne felt stupid for asking personal questions like that, so she hadn’t expected him to reply at all.

“We met in high school,” he began. “Cersei seemed so bright and lively back then. She had a certain fire about her. I was smitten. I asked her out and she said, yes. Jaime and Cersei, the golden couple of Westeros High.” Jaime snorted. “Everyone thought we were going to settle down eventually. I certainly did. Then college happened and when she realized I had no interest in my father’s company and took up medieval history, we began to drift apart. We kept our relationship a few years after college. It was obviously degrading but I held on to hope that she might come around eventually. I even worked for the company but when one of our college friends, Robert, who was known to have an interest in politics- and a whores may I add- asked her out, she dumped me. I felt so stupid. She had been a gold digging me since high school and I was too much of a fool to see it.”

“I’m sorry,” was all Brienne could reply.

“I gave her everything and…” Jaime just sighed.

“My high school crush was gay,” Brienne blurted out. “I’ve known a few months after I grew feelings for him. I even caught him several times with his boyfriend and that one time under the bleachers.” Brienne shuddered a little before continuing. “Yet for years, I still pined for him like a silly little girl. In college, I had a few guys who courted me, but it turned out they were making bets on taking my maidenhead. I decided to focus on my studies instead. After a few years, I tried speed dating but I couldn’t stand the first two men. One of them gave me a rose and told me it was all I was gonna get from him. The second practically criticized everything I did. I left the place and never tried dating ever again.”

Brienne cleared her throat. It felt a little dry after telling her story. Jaime took out their water bottles and he handed out hers. She gratefully took it and Jaime raised his bottle in mock toast.

“To our crappy love lives,” Jaime said.

“To our crappy love lives,” Brienne echoed.

*******

The two found themselves sitting through a lecture with Catelyn about how they shouldn’t give them a scare and that even though they signed the waiver, the camp still feels responsible for their safety. Jaime was barely even listening. His mind was wandering to their time at the river. Sometime after their confession, a truck had arrived and out came three people. He recognized Sansa and she was flooded with relief and thought something bad had happened to them on the trail. With her were two other men. One was an ebony-haired young man looking amusedly at the girl, while the other one was a curly haired ginger. The latter had shooting Brienne a hungry look and Jaime did not like it one bit. Jaime barked at everyone to turn around while Brienne changed, even though she was just going to put her clothes over her swimsuit. He placed a finger on her soft lips (he was certain it wasn’t because he wanted to feel it again) to stop the protests he knew was coming. He spent the lecture thinking of her body in that one piece. Although it had been more conservative than the bikinis most women preferred, Jaime felt his whole body thrumming at the memory of her body in that one-piece. It was like the final wrapping before the present. He might as well admit it. He wanted that present. He had wanted it for a very long time.

After Catelyn’s tirade, she allowed them to have their lunch while the rest of the couples had started already the Games. Afterwards, they set up their tent. Much arguing happened on its set up, yet somehow, they managed to make a useable shelter. They already missed five contests and already lost points. Not that they cared but when they joined their first contest, their drive to win kicked in. They nailed the first contest. It was egg toss. Both had an excellent throw and good judges in distance, they discovered. They breezed through the rest of the contests. A few times they won. A few times they lost. But most of the time they earned the higher spots.

By the end of the day, they were exhausted. After dinner, they crawled into the tent. Brienne snuggled herself into her sleeping bag when suddenly she heard Jaime swear.

“What’s wrong?” she asked blearily.

“I may have forgotten to pack my sleeping bag,” he squeaked.

“Gods! How could you have forgotten?”

“I didn’t! I apparently packed an inflatable boat instead.”

“Idiot,” Brienne muttered, closing her eyes.

“Another sleepless night.”

It was said so lowly with a defeated sigh that Brienne was sure she wasn’t supposed to hear it, but she heard it nonetheless. She did notice that Jaime had bags under his eyes and he kept nodding off before their hike. Brienne couldn’t stand the thought of Jaime losing another night’s sleep. She huffed.

“Here, take my sleeping bag,” Brienne offered.

“It’s alright, Brienne. I can handle this,” he replied solemnly.

“No, you need a good night’s sleep,” she replied. “You might still be uncomfortable but you’ll sleep better in here than out there.”

“I’m going to be fine,” he insisted stubbornly.

Brienne pushed herself out of her sleeping bag and she shivered at how cold the tent was. There was no way she would allow Jaime to sleep at this temperature.

“Seven Hells! Jaime, you can’t possibly sleep in this cold. You will catch your death.”

“Do I have to tell you the third time? I’m going to be fine.”

“No. You. Won’t.”

“Fine,” he spat. “I’ll agree to take your stupid sleeping bag. _If_ and _only_ if we share.”

Brienne’s face felt like fire. “Don’t be ridiculous!”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he mimicked her. “Well, I’m not letting you die from the cold either, wench, so you either take my offer or I’ll die here like a martyr.”

Brienne groaned, unzipping her sleeping bag. “Okay! But we’re sleeping back-to-back.”

Jaime carefully squeezed in the sleeping bag until he got stuck around his torso. They both got out of the sleeping bag to unzip the thing all the way through. They bickered for some time about how they’ll fit into Brienne’s sleeping bag but after irritatingly throwing out suggestions, they found a solution. They zipped the bag up to their upper thighs since their legs are the only thing that fit inside the sleeping bag. The rest remained unzipped and their backpacks will shield whatever was exposed to the cold.

“Good night, Jaime.”

“Good night, Brienne.”

The last thing both of them felt before drifting off was the radiating heat that began to soak their bodies with sweat.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 5 points to whoever can guess a fandom reference I put in there hahahaha
> 
> I put in a lot of baths here... because JB and baths are <3 <3 Also, I love the awkward boners it elicited both times. XDXDXD
> 
> I was not sure if I should put a kiss because I felt like it was too early but I felt like this needed a kiss and somehow I made a way to put a kiss. Yassss! I've been falls hopping during the summer so I KNOW how slippery rivers can get. The things I learn in summer XD
> 
> So, yeah, no incest. Cersei is a gold digging, power hungry chick who isn’t related to Jaime in this fic.
> 
> Agh! I’m already thinking about what will happen in the third part and I’m smiling like an idiot. I haven’t even written it down yet. I hope you’ll love it just as much as my mind does.
> 
> My muse gets a boner when you leave a review. Wat XD


	3. Day Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! What is physics and what is nature? Also, this has lesser scenes than the previous chapters but one of them is super long and it has a lot going on so I’m hoping that you’ll like it. *holds breath*

Brienne burrowed herself further against the warmth enveloping her. It felt safe and welcoming, as if she belonged in it. She didn’t want to move away. She wanted to lose herself in it.

Suddenly, she could feel it shift behind her. It felt like a squirming at first. Then, she recognized it as a grinding.

“Brienne,” someone breathes huskily into her ear.

All at once, reality struck her like lightning. A leg was thrown over her hip. An arm was not only draped over her but its hand was under her shirt, the thumb caressing her ribs directly below her almost nonexistent breast. Lips were gently kissing her ear with its breath tickling it a little. The most alarming thing was what she felt at her backside- being slowly grinded against it.

And she could think of no other person _literally_ behind all of this.

“Oh gods, Brienne.”

Immediately, she scrambled out of Jaime’s embrace. She tried to stand but tripped over her backpack instead. The rest of the way, she crawled toward the corner of the tent where she hugged her folded legs against her chest.

Jaime had never slept so well in his life. It was the gentle warmth that was beside him that surely contributed. He slowly woke to the realm of consciousness when he felt nothing but cold. He sought that warmth once more by pawing to where he had felt it but found it empty.

His dreams last night were beginning to come to him. He and Brienne had been in the river again. She had that same playful sparkle in her eyes when she had pinned him down but there had been something else in it as well.

 _Yield_ , she had whispered seductively in his ear that he couldn’t help but moan just as erotically in response. _I yield_.

Then, she had bitten her lip as she smiled before tackling his lips with hers. Somehow, their swimwear had been gone in a flash and ended up being a wet naked tangle of limbs and teeth and tongue.

Jaime’s eyes shot open. His awareness fully hit him and he looked around in search for his partner. In the corner of the tent, he found Brienne’s sapphires peering from behind her knees. He was sweaty and his boxers felt too tight. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that the boner- and all other feelings that had caused it- that he had been trying so hard to hide manifested itself in his dreams and his body, too.

“Maybe you should take a shower,” she mumbled, still studying him with wide panicked eyes.

“You go first. I want to sleep a little longer.”

Brienne tore her gaze from him and snatched her whole backpack. She fled the tent without looking back.

Jaime lied. He wanted to continue fantasizing his dream while breathing in her lingering scent. He was not going to taking care of it in the bathroom.

*******

The morning had passed in a breeze- mostly because Brienne and Jaime distracted themselves with the activities. They had moved back to their usual routine of competitiveness and banter. Neither had mentioned what had happened when they woke up but occasionally, one of them would have their gaze flit to the other’s body parts- lips… chest… legs… crotch. They’d look away and distract themselves until it happened again. It was an almost endless cycle.

The next thing they knew, it was the afternoon and they were hiking back to the main camp on the same trail. Brienne looked unhappy though. Aside from their heavy backpack, they were carrying around an inflated boat.

“Tell me again why did you think this was a great idea?” Brienne mumbled while distastefully looking at the neon orange rubber of air she’s holding by its plastic handle. In front of her, Jaime was holding a similar one. His body was facing forward while his arm stretched out straight and tensed behind him. Brienne thought Jaime’s arm looked broken because of its awkward angle.

“We might as well make use of this stupid boat,” Jaime cheerfully replied.

Before they left, Jaime had asked Sansa if they could borrow their air pump for the inflatable boat. Sansa asked them teasingly if they were going on a romantic cruise. Jaime had replied that boat sex was on their bucket list. That shut the girl up.

When he had gotten back to Brienne with an inflated boat, she almost had a fit at the sight of it. Jaime had begged that they should try it and promised that they’ll stay as close to the riverbank as possible. Brienne had told him he was being a spoiled brat but she consented as long as the current was slow. The river was indeed beautiful and besides, it was their last day.

After walking through the woods, they stepped into the open and found themselves standing on the familiar precipice they passed before they reached the camp. The woods were about eight feet away from the cliff’s edge. They could hear the rush of the river more clearly now. Surely, about twenty feet below them, there was the river. They only had to walk down the stone steps for them to reach the riverbank.

Brienne dropped her end of the boat on the ground.

“I have to pee,” Brienne blurted out, doing a funny little dance that Jaime thought looked hilariously out of character for her.

“Why didn’t you go earlier?” he groaned, rolling his eyes.

“I didn’t need to pee back then,” Brienne replied dropping the backpack she just took off with a thud inside the boat. “I must have drunk too much water before our hike.”

“Well, don’t take too long,” Jaime told her while putting the boat down altogether.

Brienne was hidden behind some trees. He could hear her making water and it reminded him of the river. Jaime was definitely trying not to think of that dream again.

Unexpectedly, there was a rustling sound coming from the woods then a low growl that did not sound human at all. Brienne materialized out of the greenery, backing away with slow tentative steps.

“Brienne, what are you-”

But she only hissed at him to be quiet and continued to retreat until she stood next to Jaime. That’s when the leaves rustled once more.

Out of the trees emerged something huge, brown and hairy. They both cursed every god and swear word when the bear was sniffing the air. They moved back as slow as they could until their feet bumped into something that squeaked. They panicked at the seemingly foreign texture and kicked it away with a huge force. Only after the splash did they realize it was their boat. Judging from the sound, Brienne’s backpack was in it as well.

“Brienne, you have to jump,” Jaime whispered.

“What?” Brienne whispered back. “I’m not leaving you.”

“I’m going to jump afterwards I promise.”

“Jaime,” Brienne said worryingly. “What are you planning on doing?”

“Just jump,” he hissed a little too harshly. He flinched at his own ferocity and decided to soften his voice to reassure her. “I will follow you right after,”

“Okay…”  Brienne obliged. “Just be careful.”

After some agonizing seconds, Jaime heard a splash and for a moment there was relief. He wanted to ensure Brienne’s safety first. But when the bear growled once more, panic began to set in. Its paw took one step forward as Jaime took one backward. It was like a hesitant dance between man and beast. Jaime’s backpack seemed to weigh several tons heavier. Slowly, he took it off and placed it on the ground as gently as he could without making a sound.

Below, Brienne swam toward a rock where she spotted the boat. She found that the rock was low enough for her to climb up on and one could stand on it if you knew where to put your feet on. It was a good thing Brienne grew up on an island and worked out when she was older or else she’d never have the strength and stamina for this whole ordeal. She was tired but not exhausted. She took a brief glance at the boat and saw that the rock was barely kept it from drifting. By some stroke of luck, her backpack was in there as well. They will need supplies just in case something happens. Brienne was about to haul the boat to a better position so it doesn’t drift away when she heard the bear growl. Quickly, she looked up and scanned the cliff’s edge to find any sign of Jaime.

Then, directly above her, she spotted a glint of golden hair. Brienne could feel panic rising up her throat. _Does Jaime know he’s edging closer to the cliff?_ Slowly, Jaime’s back was appearing in view.

As if answering her question, Jaime miscalculated in his step and his foot narrowly missed the cliff’s edge.

Jaime plummeted back first.

Brienne blocked everything and focused on Jaime’s figure. Instinctively, she held her arms out. Jaime landed in her arms but the force knocked her backwards off the rock.

For a split second, Brienne braced herself for a terrifying future. A disturbing image of her broken body against rocks popped in her mind and she clutched Jaime’s body as a solemn vow to protect him even to her death. But that split second ceased when her backside landed on something soft and squeaky. She was freshly soaked with river water to her waist before the water receded. She had safely landed on the boat and was seated laterally on it. The boat was now moving with the current. Her fall had caused it to dislodge from the rock and get carried along the flow.

Then, a hacking cough reminded her of why she was knocked down into the boat in the first place. One arm was supporting a back. The other was tucked under a pair of knees. His firm ass was on her crotch and she tried not to think about that. Instead, she looked down to see how Jaime was faring and found two emeralds staring wide eyed at her.

There was some jape Jaime wanted to say but the words were stuck in his throat at the sight before him. Brienne didn’t look any prettier but to him, she seemed an angel somehow. Her straw hair was blowing in the breeze. The light made her flushed skin glow and her freckles prominent. Jaime watched her big lips pant and he was left breathless as well.

He wanted to kiss those lips.

He wanted to right now.

Jaime began to lift his right arm so he could touch her cheek when pain shot through his arm.

“I think I fractured my arm,” Jaime said through gritted teeth. After the pain, the memory of how he had procured it shot into his mind. His right arm had hit something that was protruding from the face of the cliff- like some sort of ledge or overgrown root. It happened too fast for him to see what it was. He had barely even registered it happened.

Brienne faced away from him and Jaime was a little disappointed at being deprived from her face. The arm beneath his knees slipped itself out as well. He tried to look at what she was grabbing at but he could only see her chest. He, then, suddenly remembered where his hand had been in the morning.

“Luckily we still have supplies. I’m going to use the flare,” Brienne said as she retracted her other arm from his back, likely to load the ammo. He watched in fascination as she raised the gun in the air. There was this defiant expression Brienne made when she concentrated. She looked like a warrior. And oh gods, it was hot.

There was a loud pop and a sparkling light shot out of the gun followed by a trail of smoke. When she finished, the flare was out of his sight and her hand returned on his back. She slowly shifted herself away from him- causing the boat to sway a bit. He almost whimpered at the loss of contact but she only moved a little and let his head rest on her lap. The boat felt awkwardly imbalanced for a while until he felt something being placed on the opposite end.

“What now?” Jaime asked with a soft smile he couldn’t help. Jaime had seen her serious but work made her harsh. This was a whole different sort of serious. This was a softer, gentler serious side of her that he’s coming to love.

“I’m going to make a splint.”

Brienne reached over Jaime and tried the best that she could to rummage their supplies in her backpack. The first aid kit was easy to find since she placed it in the convenient zipper in front for easy reach. She placed it on Jaime’s stomach, asking him to hold it with his other hand. The second part of the splint was harder to find. She had to find some rigid body to support his arm. Conveniently, Brienne spotted a plank that floated by that looked about the size of his arm. She fished it out of the water and examined it. The edges were smooth save for the part where it looked like it had broken off. She took out a knife from her bag and smoothed the jagged edges.

When Brienne was finally satisfied with the texture, she noticed the queer silence since she started working on the splint. She looked at her patient and saw him with that odd expression once again.

“Why do you keep looking at me like that?” Brienne asked self-consciously.

“You’re adorable, wench,” Jaime replied in a weird tone. Brienne didn’t change her expression as she set the plank aside and went through the first aid kit for some bandages. It was typical Jaime to make stupid comments like that.

“We both know I’m _far_ from adorable,” Brienne retorted, finally finding the bandages and unrolling them.

“Brienne, I’m trying to flirt here. Can you at least pretend to be flattered?”

She went completely stiff as he said this. His tone sounded different this time. It was teasing, yes. But this sounded like Jaime’s whiny tone when he wanted something. He had never used that tone with those sentences, or anything with similar meaning towards anyone, and especially not towards her. Why would he want her? This was Jaime Lannister. He was a god walking among mortals (not that she’d ever tell him that). Why would he even look twice at a beast- as he had often put it- like her? _To be fair, he hasn’t told me I’m a beast for a long while._

Brienne shook her thoughts away and drilled into her mind that it was a jest, nothing more. She held out the partially unrolled bandages to estimate the right size to tie the around his arms. _Those perfectly toned arms._

“I think I’m glad I was the one injured. I don’t think I would know what to do if you were hurt,” Jaime admitted.

“I looked up first aid tips online before the trip, but really, only the first aid for fractures and bleeding stuck,” Brienne replied deciding that she would use two whole rolls. She was glad for the change in topic.

“What about CPR?” Jaime suddenly remarked. There was a smile in that tone that Brienne could detect all too well.

“I’d rather see you drown,” Brienne deadpanned preparing the plank.

Jaime only huffed and she didn’t linger on what it meant. Carefully, she lifted his arm and asking him to tell her if it hurt in any way. The whole time Brienne worked, Jaime only made grunts of pain. Other than that, he had been silent and obedient until she was finished.

“What do we do now?” he asked.

“Wait, I suppose,” she responded with a shrug and studied her work. Jaime’s arm looked like a mummy. It wasn’t pretty but it worked. She hoped.

“I have other ideas in mind,” Jaime lifted a brow and bit back a smile. Brienne rolled her eyes.

“With that tone, I don’t think I wanna hear it.”

“Sansa will be so disappointed we’re not having boat sex.”

“What did you tell Sansa?” Brienne hissed.

“Okay.” Jaime sounded meek. “She looked horrified but she seems so giggly when she’s around us.”

“That’s probably because of your so called _Lannister charm_.”

“I think we’re her favorite couple.”

“We are not a couple.”

Jaime moved his uninjured left arm and his hand landed on hers. Brienne couldn’t find it in herself to even berate him for such improper behavior. In fact, her thoughts were catapulting improper images at her. Whatever this was they had between them had always been heavy but at this moment, it seemed like a cup almost overflowing to its brim. The tension was unbearably overwhelming.

“I’d like to be a couple.”

Brienne felt all the air of her lungs leave and a sensation shot to her groin. She tried to speak but no words would come out. Jaime lightly squeezed her hand.

“From the moment you waltzed in my office and told me with all brutal honesty that my project proposal was complete garbage, I was completely entranced by you,” he confessed with a dramatic flair in his voice that Jaime usually reserved when he’s trying to win over the board with their proposed plan. “But I was a stupid idiot still hung up on my ex-girlfriend getting married that I didn’t even realize how attracted I was to you and even when I did, I kept trying to convince myself that you would never be into me, the asshole that I am, but the truth is, I’m a total chicken. So… Forgive me?”

Jaime looked like a puppy seeking the approval of his master and Brienne would have laughed if she wasn’t caught completely off guard with his sudden confession.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you when you didn’t deserve it,” she said almost as meekly. “We all have our flaws. I’m an insecure woman who has commitment phobia. Yours is you’re a pain in the ass.”

Jaime only chuckled and his hand traveled further up her arm. Neither of them left the other’s gaze. His hand arrived at the collar of her shirt. His thumb and index finger rubbed the rough texture to give Brienne the time to stop him if she wanted to put an end to this intimacy.

Yet she didn’t make a move to stop him at all. There was confusion, doubt and hesitance but Brienne made no indication that she didn’t want him. Jaime watched as her pupils dilated, overtaking the sapphire irises, and he took it as invitation.

He quickly slipped his hand behind her nape and yanked her neck down to crash his lips against hers.

“Ow!”

Embarrassingly, Jaime poked Brienne’s eyes with his nose. She threw her head back and rubbed her eyelid. Jaime tried to move his right arm to slap his forehead for his failure but it only responded with a burning pain.

“I’m fucking this up, aren’t I?” Jaime hissed. He caressed his injured arm and it felt almost like a warm balloon at how swollen it is.

“Yes, you are,” Brienne replied. Her hand was still over her eye.

“Sorry,” he mumbled. “I’ve been out of the game for years. I don’t really think I know how to do this anymore.”

Brienne removed her hand from her eye and rapidly blinked it. Other than tears, Jaime saw that it was fine and he sighed in relief. Then, Brienne turned to him and gave a shy smile that made Jaime think of cotton candy. The sweet reminded him of the few fond memories he had of his mother. Tywin almost never let him have any sweets but during their family trips to the carnival, Joanna indulged him with those. Associating that smile with that treat was a big deal indeed.

“It’s alright,” Brienne responded, biting her lower lip. “I don’t know how to do this either.”

Then, she slowly dipped her face toward his- only closing her eyes when she was sure that they weren’t going to poke anyone’s eyes out- and their lips touched gently, even more than they did at that accidental one they had yesterday. Their lips weren’t even properly aligned. Due to their position, their faces were crossways from one another.

 _What now?_ Brienne’s mind screamed. Her experiences with kissing had been mostly pecks and that had been too long ago. She barely even had the courage to plant her lips on his, but now, she just felt ridiculous- as ridiculous as their position. _Maybe I should just move_ away, she thought dismally. That’s when she felt a hand closing on her nape and Jaime’s lips parted as if he was a lion feasting on his prey.

 _Screw this_. Brienne stopped thinking entirely. She cupped Jaime’s cheek to thrust her face into his as she opened her mouth to devour him. Jaime was taken by surprise at her sudden ferocity but quickly recovered. They both shifted their positions- carefully so as not to disturb he injured arm- for comfort and for them to gain better access to their mouths. Jaime’s passion emboldened Brienne and she did something she had never done before. She darted out her tongue and explored the inside of Jaime’s mouth. This caused him to chuckle for a while but then his tongue retaliated with equal passion.

Although they both clearly looked sloppy and had no clue how to establish a rhythm to their newfound way to fight with their mouth, they were grinning like lovesick teenage idiots as they made out. In that moment, it was all about releasing more than a year’s worth of pent up romantic tension, and all the unrestrained moaning and sucking proved that there had been a lot of it indeed.

Out of the blue, they felt a strong tug that interrupted the boat’s general pace. They broke apart-needing air anyway- and turned to the direction of the pull. Jaime could only see the sides of the boat though. Brienne, however, saw a riverbank where there were various vehicles and some people waiting for them.  An auburn-haired figure stood out, flailing her arms up in the air next to an ebony-haired figure pulling the rope. She traced its path with her eyes. At the end of it was a hook attached to the plastic handle of their boat. Back to the shore, she saw a man in a wetsuit emerging from the water and helping the other man pull their boat ashore. Brienne let them know with a shout that they were fine except for Jaime’s arm.

When their boat reached the shallow area and sunk onto the riverbed, Brienne got called by someone. She turned back to him with a sulk and Jaime laughed at how she was acting like the spoiled child this time, before the medical team swallowed Brienne from his view. Sansa was among them and she studied his mummified arm.

“Fracture right?” Sansa asked one of the staff, who droned an affirmation, then turned back to Jaime “Mr. Lannister, what happened?”

“Checked off that item from the bucket list, sweetling,” Jaime replied with a wink and the girl gasped.

“People don’t get injuries from doing… _that_ , do they?” Sansa whispered.

Jaime only responded with a mischievous smile. The medical team seemed to have finished assessing his injuries and some of them broke away, just in time for him to spot Brienne walking away from the wetsuit man, curly ginger from yesterday with Sansa and that other fellow. He frowned a little when she arrived with a smile. Sansa must have taken it as a secret innuendo between them and she regarded Brienne with wide eyes and a blush. The girl left to join her dark-haired companion from earlier.

“What was that about?” Brienne asked.

“A little spooked about the bear story,” Jaime said coolly. “What did ginger beard want?”

Before Brienne could answer, the medics declared that he was fine but they’ll just have to transfer him to the camp infirmary for proper treatment and medication. He was moved to a stretcher, taking great care not to disturb his splinted arm. They wheeled him in the medical truck. Brienne followed closely behind him and settled herself next to his stretcher with crossed legs. One paramedic stayed with them but he moved himself to the farthest corner of the ambulance. He wasn’t really needed and he could tell that the two wanted privacy.

The engine roared to life and they were on the move. The terrain was bumpy but the driver was careful enough not to let it disturb the fractured arm.

“He just wanted to ask what happened so he could make a report,” Brienne answered his earlier question.

“You were smiling at him,” Jaime accused.

“Wouldn’t you crack up if someone told you he was the husband of bears? Don’t tell me you wouldn’t because I know you, Lannister,” she countered.

“He was staring at you like a bear would at honey,” he persisted like a petulant child.

 “Jaime, we never even had a date and you’re already acting like a jealous boyfriend.”

“But I asked you out for coffee almost every day,” Jaime gasped as if he was greatly offended. “And we kissed. Aren’t I your boyfriend already?”

“It was work and you’re still at suitor stage,” she said bluntly. “But regardless, he’s not going to make a move with me. It’s Couples Camp we’ve stumbled ourselves upon, in case you’ve forgotten.”

Jaime finally laughed. “Oh my lady, I most definitely have not forgotten.”

Who knew an accidental trip to Couples Camp would actually force them to be a couple.

*******

Tyrion clutched the phone in his ear too tightly. “It’s from Camp Trout,” he almost whispered.

Beside him, Bronn only raised a brow, completely oblivious to the paling face of his boss. “So they finally done it?”

Tyrion hit the much taller man on his leg. “It’s from their _infirmary_. Be serious.”

Bronn only watched in amusement as the younger Lannister continued speaking on the phone- his expression shifting from mortified to worry then relief. When Tyrion put down his phone, his smug look was back.

“I take it that the plan bore fruit?” Bronn inquired.

“Why don’t we head to the Riverlands to find out?” Tyrion replied, cackling.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *releases breath* I know the ending is kinda weird… but that’s because it’s NOT THE END. Because I love you people (okay, more like because I’m utter trash but I also love you), I have a sort of bonus chapter I’ve started writing so yay, PART 4!!!! But let’s let everyone else believe that this is the last hm? ;)
> 
> I tried my best to keep this realistic but ugrghf my poor brain is overloaded. Honestly, this chapter was a total bitch to write but well, I hope the action wasn’t confusing af. *shoves orange cookies in my mouth and gulps coffee from stressing* Though, I’m glad for the action sequences because it made this chapter super long, which I hadn’t expected AT ALL. XD
> 
> There’s a tension in the air… and that’s me eagerly waiting for your reviews. :P


	4. Pro/Epi-logue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TADA! I hope this chapter clears things up. *thumbs up*

**_ Weeks ago… _ **

As soon as the door swung open, the sounds of argument became louder and flooded Tyrion’s office. While approaching his boss’ desk, Bronn chuckled seeing Tyrion rubbing his temples.

“Pod, remind me to replace everything in this office with soundproof materials,” Tyrion told his secretary.

“Y-yes, Mr. Tyrion, ser,” his secretary stuttered.

“He was being sarcastic, boy,” Bronn told Pod. “Otherwise, Mr. Lannister here wouldn’t be able to hear the gossips and happenings out there.”

Bronn dropped the documents on Tyrion’s desk, saying that they needed to be reviewed and signed.

“I’m considering locking them up in a soundproof closet every time they do that,” Tyrion groaned.

“Ah, but we’d never hear them fuck,” Bronn remarked. “And they won’t be forced to admit that they are both fucking in love with each other and the whole Lannister Corporation will have to suffer their sexual tension.”

“Bronn, don’t you have anything in your mind other than drinking or fucking?” Tyrion deadpanned.

“Nope,” Bronn replied immediately. “And I don’t think you do either.” Tyrion groaned at that and his employee-slash-favorite-drinking-buddy snorted in amusement. “But really though, it’s been a more than a year since those two have been at it. Have they fucked yet? They look like they haven’t.”

“To my knowledge, no,” Tyrion said in dismay. “Jaime’s still pretty bummed about his ex-girlfriend, Cersei, marrying Mayor Robert. And sweet Brienne… she wouldn’t know it if someone fancied her, even if it was written in huge neon signs, especially with her… appearance.”

“Stupid idiots,” Bronn grunted. “Maybe I’ll fuck the lady myself if that makes Lannister the Tall come to his senses.”

“Don’t,” Tyrion mockingly warned. “He’ll probably chop your cock off.”

“Aye,” Bronn agreed. “But these are desperate times, ser.”

“Mr. Tyrion Lannister, ser,” Pod suddenly piped up, interrupting the men’s conversation. “Camp Trout said that they cannot accommodate our Company Team Building on the given dates. They said they have a Graduates Retreat on the first weekend, a Family Reunion on the second, and a Couples Camp on the third.”

Tyrion didn’t care about the camp not being available. Camp Trout in the Riverlands is the biggest camp there is and all the water made great team building activities but there were other options as well.

However, that third thing caught Tyrion’s attention.

The dwarf turned to his employee who had a smirk and an evil sparkle in his eyes, probably mirroring his own.

“Boy, we should really take you out to the brothels,” Bronn said triumphantly. “I could really kiss you right now!”

“Podrick, I want you to call Camp Trout and inquire them about the Couples Camp,” Tyrion instructed the boy. “And make sure you have a reservation for a couple.”

…….

“Lannister the Pretty,” Bronn greeted his other boss and handed out some documents. “Here is the information and the bio data that needs filling in for this year’s team building. Need the bio data passed tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Bronn,” Jaime replied distractedly as he typed on in his laptop. “Just leave it on the desk, please.”

“As you wish, Mr. Lannister,” Bronn said with an all-too-knowing tone that Jaime didn’t seem to notice. Usually, Jaime would have some sort of jape ready and could pick up on it but with presentation day coming closer, Jaime wasn’t as keen as he was before. He had been decent with his presentations but ever since he was thrown in as Ms. Tarth’s partner, his work quality improved ten-fold, though his social skills dropped when it was near deadline due to his focus. So he tuned out most gossip and small talk in the office. Bronn exploited that. He was certain Podrick was doing well since Jaime Lannister’s presentation partner was just as busy. And she’s even more oblivious than the man.

…….

“M-Miss Tarth,” Podrick stuttered when he was in her office.

“Good evening, Podrick,” Brienne greeted absentmindedly. She was focused at the spreadsheet on her computer.

“Details and bio data for next week’s team building,” Pod said tersely. “I’ll leave them on your desk.”

Brienne only stopped typing to look at Pod place the document on the table and then her eyes were on the screen once more.

“Thank you, Pod.”

“No problem. I’ll collect this tomorrow.”

Although Brienne was truly not paying attention, Podrick bolted out of her office because he didn’t want to give away the game. He promised Bronn and Tyrion he wouldn’t tell and he was a terrible liar. He was only hoping that what they said about Ms. Brienne too concentrated to notice anything peculiar was true.

…….

“Bro, you’re the pretty one!” Tyrion yelled from the other room. “You don’t happen to have some sunblock in your bag, do you? I have to go to the venue early to check if everything is in order.”

“It’s in the trunk of my car,” came Jaime’s reply.

“Thanks.” But Tyrion was suppressing a laugh. This was the final piece of their plan. Their father and the Head of Lannister Corporation, Tywin Lannister, had moved Jaime and Brienne’s presentation a day before the team building. Tywin wanted the two to be in work mindset when they’d present. Tyrion had feared that this could potentially ruin their plan, but it actually made the two even more oblivious because they were panicking to finish their presentation. Bronn and Podrick found them in Jaime’s office harmoniously maneuvering around each other in work and wit like a well-oiled machine. They had looked somewhat bedraggled when they looked at Bronn and Pod and realized that they forgot about the bio data. They took it out carelessly from their bags and scrambled to finish the thing and both passed it to them without even looking up. Tyrion had laughed in relief when he heard Bronn tell it. _I would’ve almost believed that they were fucking,_ Bronn had said.

Tyrion chuckled at the memory while he was lugging a rolled up inflatable boat about the size of a rolled up sleeping bag. He opened the trunk and found the sleeping bag right away. He and Jaime had bought their camping stuff together so he paid close attention to the duffel bag it was contained in so he would know what color the inflatable boat duffel bag should be. It had been Bronn’s idea. _So they will be forced to fuck in that tent._

Tyrion snickered as he made the switch. He closed the trunk just in time for Jaime to come out.

“I’ll be off now, brother,” Tyrion told Jaime who was still in his pajamas.

“Is it still too late for me to back out?” Jaime asked with a wrinkled nose. The elder Lannister loved the outdoors but he wasn’t too fond of camping. It was even worse especially since he had just come from a presentation.

“Sorry, brother,” Tyrion said not very apologetically. “You have to join us. You know father hates it when you miss our family bonding.”

“Ah yes, father always had a knack of bringing work into everything. Don’t be surprised if I don’t show up though,” Jaime japed.

It was lucky the Lannister brothers smirked a lot. Tyrion did try to not make his smirk into a manic smile.

“I surely won’t, brother.”

**_ Present Day… _ **

The double swing doors of the infirmary flung open without any discretion. Bronn swaggered in as he immediately spotted two blondes sitting on the hospital bed, laughing and bumping their shoulders like teenagers. One of them had a cast on his arm. Behind him tailed Tyrion Lannister, who seemed to be back in his sullen mood when he had received the phone call. Perhaps it was the sight of his brother’s cast that changed his smug mood on their way to the camp.

“Look at you both,” Bronn congratulated. “Finally fucked it out, I see.”

The couple immediately fell silent and turned toward the voice. Tyrion shot Bronn a glare as he moved beside him. The latter didn’t notice though.

“Bro, are you okay?” Tyrion said with much concern. Jaime and Brienne briefly stared at each other in silent conversation and looked back to the little man with a raised brow. Tyrion was about to voice out their weird glance at him when Bronn opened his big mouth.

“So, when you fucked in the tent, who came first? The-”

“Bronn,” Tyrion growled.

“Hello, brother,” Jaime greeted a little too indifferently. “Strange how you never wondered why we were missing.”

“I was more worried about you being attacked by a bear,” Tyrion replied defensively. His chin even higher in the air than it already was. “In case you haven’t noticed.”

“But not a single question as to how we ended up in this camp,” Jaime pointed out. “Even now.”

When Jaime had been taken to the infirmary, Tyrion was contacted since he was the emergency contact although neither Jaime nor Brienne answered him, only the in-charge was able to explain the situation to him. After Jaime had the cast though, he had called Tyrion again to explain the story. His little brother had been so engrossed by the tale that he had forgotten to put a pretense on being completely clueless about his absence from the three-day company activity when he put down the phone. Jaime and Brienne had struck it odd.

Tyrion opened his mouth to come up with a believable retort but Bronn cut him off.

“It took you _this_ long to figure it out? This is why we had to set you both up. You’re both thick as a castle wall. It’s beyond frustrating.”

“So, you thought you’d give us the wrong camp,” Brienne stated with narrowed eyes to intimidate the two men. Or so Tyrion thought. Bronn wasn’t intimidated at all but Tyrion’s little feet were quaking.

“Yep,” Bronn affirmed without a care. He seated himself on an available seat that was too near to the bed. If either of the two kicked hard enough, they could knock Bronn out but the man seemed too amused to be concerned. “Figured you were both too busy to notice.”

“Father…” Jaime began but Bronn interrupted him.

“When I sort of announced to the whole camp you were fucking, Lannister the Old reacted first and you know what he said?” Bronn paused for added suspense but the three just stared blankly at him. He took a deep breath and cleared his throat. “ _Finally,_ ” Bronn grumbled in a low voice that was supposed to be an imitation of Tywin Lannister. “ _I was wondering when they were going to give me grandchildren._ ”

That elicited a groan from the couple.

“Alright Bronn, I think we’ve done enough,” Tyrion scolded his employee before turning to Jaime and Brienne. “I’m very sorry. I really am. I didn’t mean for everything to end up like this. How can I make it up to you?”

Jaime tapped his cast and stared at it as if in deep thought. Tyrion squirmed nervously from where he was standing. When his big brother finally looked at him, Tyrion stood rigid.

“Brienne and I were planning on going on a date next month when my arm’s supposedly all healed up. Apparently, Brienne is into history as well.” Jaime said with a neutral expression. “We’re going to book the tour on Ser Goldenhand and Lady Blue Knight’s Journey to King’s Landing. You’re paying for it.”

“What?!” Tyrion exclaimed. “You can’t possibly be serious. I heard that’s one of the most expensive historical tours in Westeros.”

“I am serious,” Jaime only replied neutrally. “And you’re convincing father that we still get pay during our one week vacation.”

“No way,” Tyrion whimpered. “Please my sweet brother. Don’t make me go to father.”

“Well, good luck, buddy,” Bronn snorted.

Without even turning to Bronn, Jaime addressed the man. “Of course, we have Bronn to help you with the finances.”

“What?!” Bronn’s non caring façade crumbled and he looked as alarmed as Tyrion. “Can’t we pay your medical bills or something?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Brienne said in a singsong voice. “That bear was over eight feet tall and we had to jump into the river to save our lives.”

Tyrion looked honestly shocked. “Brienne, I thought you would take my side on this matter.”

“It would take something real special as an apology,” Brienne shrugged. “More special than paying medical bills for Jaime’s arm. After all, I also faced the bear as well.”

“Well then Podrick has to pay as well,” Bronn argued. “He was in on it, too.”

“You corrupted that boy,” Brienne scolded them. “You should be the ones taking responsibility.”

Bronn and Tyrion argued about how much they’ll pay for what, completely ignoring Jaime and Brienne who were stifling a giggle.

“Great job, wench,” Jaime whispered to her. “Didn’t know you had it in you.”

“To be honest, it was hard to keep up the facade,” Brienne whispered back. “I feel kinda sorry though. Are we really going to let them pay for that trip? They were the ones who gave us that necessary push.”

Jaime snickered. “Push? You mean grind, Brienne?”

Brienne reddened and lightly pushed him. “You know what I mean!”

“We’ll see if they’ll push through next month. It’s free after all.”

“You are a horrible, horrible man.”

“Yeah, but I’m your horrible man.”

“You sound like we’re married already.”

“I can already imagine our wedding, Brienne- you in a blue dress, us exchanging golden rings with sapphires and rubies embedded in it-”

“Jaime, I haven’t even agreed to be your girlfriend yet.”

“-and me saying I am hers and she is mine-”

“Gods! You’re already planning our wedding?”

“Even the proposal, which I’m keeping secret, by the way.”

Someone cleared their throat and all four of them stopped talking. Catelyn stood there, handing out release papers.

On their way to the car, they talked civilly. Jaime and Brienne shared that they wanted to warm up slowly into the relationship and take their time. Bronn snorted at that but Tyrion was supportive. As soon as they got into the car with Tyrion riding shotgun, Bronn behind the wheel and Jaime and Brienne at the back, the former two started arguing again and continued doing so as they drove off the camp. Upon reaching the highway, Tyrion nudged Bronn to stop talking. The car was quiet and Tyrion looked to the backseat and found the two snuggling against one another in deep slumber.

“Look at them,” Tyrion mused. “They claimed to have only started their relationship yet they already look like they’ve been together for years.”

“A bunch of old fashioned dorks these two are,” Bronn said after briefly glancing the rear view mirror. “But it works for them. Awakens my secret romantic side.”

“Maybe it’s about time we actually settle down, don’t you think?”

“Not gonna give up whoring just yet. Maybe after Jaime’s stag party, I will.”

Tyrion snorted as he turned back to the road. Seeing his brother with someone who loved him and was good for him made Tyrion want something he had only wished for when he was younger.

**_ Three Years Later… _ **

Brienne found herself in the same camp grounds where she and Jaime had been forced to confront their feelings for each other.

Dating Jaime was one of the greatest years in her life.

With Jaime’s fracture healed, he and Brienne had gone on that historical tour a month after Camp Trout. Although Tyrion and Bronn didn’t pay for the tour at all and the younger Lannister brother wasn’t even able to convince their father to let them leave with pay, Tywin had paid for all expenses, even choosing the best package with the grandest hotels they could stay in. Jaime, to Brienne’s embarrassment, suspected that Tywin just wanted grandchildren.

After the tour, Brienne agreed that they officially go out. Somewhere in their second year of dating, they decided to move in an apartment together. To their annoyance, Tyrion had visited quite often during their first few weeks, feeling lonely without Jaime in their bachelor pad. But after a chance encounter with their neighbor, Tysha, and he rarely bothered them anymore.

It hadn’t been all perfect though. They fought like any other couple would, but Cersei became their ultimate test. There had been a media storm about Cersei and Robert’s divorce and she showed up at their doorstep under the guise of just needing some support. Jaime was being a good friend and had tried to help her get through it and Brienne had been fine with it until rumors went around he and Cersei were dating again. Brienne’s insecurities had resurfaced once more and Jaime had to do media control. When they found out Cersei was planning to get back with Jaime, they both shut the woman out of their life for good.

Three years of ups and downs and they found themselves back to where they began. It was their third anniversary and Jaime wanted to spend it in the camp that drove them to be together. Brienne thought it was a really sweet gesture. People may have an inkling of Jaime’s romantic side but Brienne was one of the few people who knew that he enjoyed romantic movies of all kinds as much as she did. They always held each other as they cried over the most heart-wrenching parts of the movie. Brienne wondered if that’s what they’ll be doing tonight. But she doubted that. Whatever Jaime was planning was going to be really special since he told her that he’s going ahead. He merely left her with a customized blue hoodie that was made to look like armor, her pack ready to go and a note that said to relax until Tyrion and Tysha pick her up at four.

“The truck is ready, Brienne,” Sansa beamed at her. “That hoodie is so you and it’s not just because it’s blue.”

“Has Jaime’s blue obsession rubbed off on you, Sansa?” Brienne joked.

“No, but I see why he’s into it,” Sansa replied with a chuckle.

Catelyn appeared beside her daughter. “Come on you two, we’re losing daylight.”

The sunset was a beautiful spectrum of red, orange, purple and pink behind the silhouette of forests when they rode off in the jeep. Catelyn drove the truck and her daughter sat beside her. Brienne sat at the back. They passed through the same path she and Jaime had taken. Ahead, Brienne saw the river-turning into ink due to the descent into darkness. She squinted her eyes to make out the rock they had laid vulnerable. When they got close, the headlights beamed on the rock and she found a neatly folded blue cloth on it.

“Take it, Brienne,” Sansa urged.

“Oh, it’s-”

“Yes, dear,” Catelyn chuckled bemusedly. “Your boyfriend requested to have this path cleared from humans and animals alike.”

Brienne got off the jeep and ran toward the rock, shielding her eyes from the glare of the headlights. Squinting to see the top of the rock, she snatched the cloth when she saw it and quickly headed back to the jeep. Once seated, she was about to unfold it when mother and daughter howled at her to stop.

“Not yet,” Sansa said. “You’ll know when we’ll get there.”

Further ahead, they got to a cliff. The forest seemed thicker somehow but otherwise, the spot was still recognizable.

“Jon and Tormund made sure there are no bears around,” Catelyn assured Brienne as the woman drove up the muddy slope beside the familiar stone steps. When they reached the top, Catelyn stopped the jeep once more. Brienne wondered for a second what was wrong until she spotted an object dangling off on a net on a low branch.

“I assume that’s for me as well and I assume that I can’t open it until later,” Brienne said matter-of-factly.

“Two points for Brienne,” Sansa whooped as Brienne got off of the jeep to take the item.

When she got back in the jeep, she studied the item in the almost darkness. It was a wooden box that could fit in both her hands. Sansa told her sternly not to shake it and she just placed the box carefully on top of the blue cloth as they continued on to the campsite.

Daylight was gone and the moon and stars above them shone. For the first time, Brienne actually felt truly excited at what Jaime’s surprise was going to be.  There had been some sort of anticipation but now with the night sky over them, the mood suddenly shifted and Brienne realized that this surprise was somehow bigger than his other ones. Jaime usually never involved many people if he had a surprise for her because she knew how embarrassed she got but this time, he asked help from Sansa, Catelyn, Tyrion, and Tysha.

They finally reached the campsite.

Brienne was right.

The clearing looked bigger without the other tents, but the single tent it had was big enough to fit five of their tents back then. It looked like the tents back in the days of old, where war was still the occupation of man. It lit up like a soft-glowing beacon in the middle of the dark clearing. On the entrance however, were two torches on either side. There were also people there. A child-sized figure and a dainty feminine one she immediately recognized Tysha and Tyrion. Brienne thought they had left but apparently, they were still here. Brienne was about to greet them when she spotted two other figures. One was a man who stood rigidly. She recognized the man too well as Tywin Lannister. But the other one was a figure towering over everyone else.

“Father?” Brienne gasped as Catelyn pulled the truck for a stop.

“My little starlight,” the man replied.

“Father!” Brienne nearly caught her foot on the jeep when she ran toward her father. Selwyn Tarth was one of the few people who was taller than Brienne. When she finally wound her arms around her father, he easily twirled her around as if she were still a child.

“What are you doing here?” Brienne asked.

“Your Jaime invited all four of us to witness this,” Selwyn replied happily.

“Brienne!” Sansa called out. “You forgot these.”

Sansa handed out the box and cloth Brienne had forgotten in the excitement of seeing her father.

“Wouldn’t want you forgetting those,” Tyrion noted.

“You said you and Tysha were going home,” Brienne said as she took the things from Sansa and saying a quick ‘thank you’ to the girl.

“Ah, but that would spoil the surprise, Ms. Tarth,” Tyrion replied with a grin. “Now, I think you should hurry it up. My brother might be dying from nerves in there.”

Wordlessly, Selwyn took the things from Brienne’s hands, as if it was practiced, and asked Tywin to hold the box. Selwyn let the cloth open by itself and she saw that it wasn’t a blue cloth but a quartered red and blue cloak, stitched with white crescents and yellow starbursts. Brienne recognized it as the symbol of the ancient House where she was descended from. Her father draped it over her and tied it around her neck.

“I love you so much, my little starlight,” Selwyn breathed out as he pulled the blue helm-hood over her head but pulling up the cloth visor up so her face was seen.

“You are always going to be my number one man, dad,” she told him fondly.

Selwyn gave out a light laugh. “I better be, but Jaime is a nice man and I can see how much he loves you as well.” Then, he asked Tywin to open the box. It was odd for Brienne to see Tywin be in the background and follow someone else’s orders, yet it didn’t in anyway tarnish his dignity. When the oldest Lannister pulled the lid back, she gasped in surprise. It was a simple golden band that could fit over her head. Around it were embedded with gems, a sapphire in the middle, one either of its side was a pair of pearls, topazes, and rubies. Brienne raised a brow at the glittering object in the box.

“Is this really necessary?” Brienne asked amusedly.

“Trust me, Brienne. I think Jaime would’ve made this gaudier if he had his way,” Tysha told her.

“True. I’m certain he would have had you both wear actual armor,” Tywin said with actual humor. “But he said he wanted to be at least a little practical.”

“So, we stuck with the colors of both your ancient Houses.” Tysha chimed in.

Selwyn took the crown and placed it on her head. In all honesty, Brienne felt a little ridiculous. She had on a replica of an ancient cloak and a crown yet she was wearing blue armor hoodie, shorts and running shoes.

“You have been a wonderful influence on my son both in his work and personal life,” Tywin said with a small smile, which wouldn’t mean much from everyone else but from Tywin, it was a great honor. Brienne could almost cry. “I’m ecstatic he’s chosen you, my dear.”

“Well don’t keep him waiting,” Tyrion urged while opening the flap of the tent. Brienne took a deep breath to keep her posture straight. She didn’t want to face Jaime looking glum. Jaime had to know how happy she was. She pushed the flap wider to accommodate her size.

Her back slackened as soon as she saw Jaime.

She noticed the tent had some bright lamps hung over it and some things around it but she really didn’t register most of it. Her attention was focused on Jaime. He was dressed similarly as she was, except he lacked a crown, his cloak is red and his hoodie armor was yellow. In his hands, he held out a sword, but it wasn’t just any sword. Although the steel was normal steel, Brienne recognized the hilt of lions and rubies.

“Jaime, is that-”

They had recently dug up an artifact in the North. It matched the description of the sword Lady Blue Knight was said to have wielded before she perished in the war. Brienne’s eyes gleamed when she had seen it on television. Jaime had used his Lannister connections so that they could both view the sword before its public display. Brienne had nearly cried seeing the Valyrian steel sword. It wasn’t only a beautiful blade but it had been the symbol of love between the nameless historical figures Ser Goldenhand and Lady Blue Knight who had died in the Northern war. Watching Brienne’s eyes light up at the concrete evidence of the historical figures made Jaime immediately know what he was going to use instead of an engagement ring. Besides, Brienne wasn’t a jewelry person and he figured that their wedding ring would be enough for her to wear every day.

“Lady Brienne of House Tarth,” Jaime began. Neither noticed that their family had entered the tent to witness the spectacle. They were clearly too engrossed in staring at one another’s eyes. “First of Her Name. Queen of my Heart, my Soul, and my Loins,” Brienne withheld a snort at that. “Lady Protector of My Honor. HeartSlayer… Godsdamit!” Jaime swore. “I forgot all the titles I’ve written down. Sorry.” Brienne allowed herself a chuckle. It was just like Jaime to overthink things sometimes but her heart was stuffed with a fluffy feeling at all the effort he’s making. “I wish to be by your side for as long as I live and serve you in every way I can.”

Suddenly, Jaime knelt, twirling the sword so he was resting his weight at the hilt and the blade was pierced on the dirt. “Lady Brienne, will you have me, as your lord husband?”

Everyone, even the usual stoic Tywin, found themselves smiling.

Brienne exhaled shakily. She bent to take the sword from his grasp and clutched it tightly at the golden hilt.

“I’m yours,” she replied, not even sparing a glance for the perfect replica of the blade she had loved so much. “I will always be yours.”

Cheers went up as Jaime got up and they kissed each other senseless.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go. WOO! Sorry, if this wasn’t that good. I was going to take time to edit this but then I was online for short spurts so I recently only found out of a project I had to do so I had to skim through this and if I don’t post it, I’ll get kinda frustrated if I don’t. So I’m so sorry. T-T I was gonna stop at the drive away from the camp but as soon as I wrote about Jaime imagining their proposal, my brain literally had this click and I made a weird smirk and that’s when I knew I just HAD to write a proposal. (Then I probably kinda regretted this because *see above*) I know Brienne is the one who said the thing but I’m not sure it would’ve worked out if Jaime said it. Maybe if it was the wedding but well, I don’t feel like writing the wedding.
> 
> By the way, the hoodie armor is from here ----------> [ http://www.thegeekieawards.com/wp-content/uploads/armorhoodie.png ]. It looked so cool that I wanted to add it in. I want one so bad.
> 
> Also, sorry if you wanted Bronn in the proposal. I was gonna have him crying and denying that he was crying but I felt like this should be a family only event (Tysha is family cause she’s Tyrion’s girlfriend.)
> 
> This was fun. Thank you all for sticking with me through this wild (literally) ride. I really appreciate everyone's support.
> 
> I may not be writing fanfics for a while because of a project in one of my major subjects and I’m the group leader (why *hugs Jon Snow*) but I might post something in Drabbles every now and then. Also, I have a really long one-shot that is almost done (but I’m still having writer’s block over it). There’s also a multi-chapter I’m working on and it’s longer than most of the multi-chapters I’ve written (I already have at least 25 chapters of overview in each chapter and it isn't done) but I’ve only written up to chapter 2. Maybe if I finish writing chapter 5 I might post the first chapter. It’s not my usual crack/humor but it is modern AU. It is filled with drama and mature themes and I’m super nervous about it because I might not portray it right.
> 
> Okay, I’m done with my rambling. Your reviews are like Jaime’s HeartSwordPenis to Brienne. XD


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